Living Inside Out with Toks

Ep #52 The Cost of Cynicism

Cynicism is ugly. It will steal opportunities from you by whispering in your ear that the opportunity is here to take advantage of you.

 

Your  comfort zone's boundary line  is made up of limiting beliefs holding hands in a circle. If you are going to break into new territory, you have got to confront such mindsets, cynicism is one of them.

 

Cynicism is doubt or disbelief in the professed motives and goodness of others, and, by extension, in social and ethical norms and values. It is accompanied by mistrust, scorn and pessimism.

 

Not only is this mindset a limiting one, it is ugly too. Cynicism leaves a bad smell wherever it goes and will cost you if you let it stay.

 

• Have you had lost opportunities because you believed they were out to get you?
• Have you lost out on relationships because you 'just knew' they were being insincere?
• Do you find yourself scornful of others' joy when you're in a group?

 

These are just some of the traits of cynicism; episode #52 is all about how this practice will prevent you from propelling forward.

 

Resources:

Head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out.

 

I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out together on Instagram- @toksaruoture 

and on Facebook,  Living Inside Out

 

And finally, check out the Goal Achievers' Mastermind Group which begins on the 5th of March 2022

Ep #51 What To Do When The World Feels Bleak

If like me you are feeling somewhat heavy from all the bleak news around, this episode is for you. There's a well-known saying that says a boat does not sink because of the water around it, it only sinks because of the water that gets inside it.

 

If we are going to thrive and fulfil the purpose we were created for, we've got to fortify our insides, while at the same time, making sure the water around us does not get inside us. I share three tips on how to do just that:

 

AffirmationsMake sure you are affirming a truth that's stronger than the lie that's inserting itself into your psyche.

 

Get a New Perspective

Talk to someone you trust and respect to help you describe what they see from their viewpoint. Often we only see one side of the picture because we are limited in our view. You'll be surprised that there are truths you have not yet considered, which will paint a more positive picture than the one you are seeing.

 

Slow Down

We have a tendency to do more, be more and acquire more in response to when our world feels like it is lacking. We don't become more by adding to what we have, we become more by removing the excess baggage that's causing the overwhelm.

 

As usual, I pull out lessons and examples from my life and business to help you see where you need to make changes. Don't forget to subscribe to and review the Living Inside Out podcast.

 

In other news, visit Living Inside Out on YouTube! Here I hold a different type of conversation with you, with friends and with experts.

 

Head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe.

 

I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out together on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook  Living Inside Out

 

I wish you a wonderful rest of the week, thank you for being you!

Ep #50 Abundance Vs Poverty: Choosing a Life of Plenty

In this 50th episode, I share three observations on the differences between an abundance and a poverty mindset. People who live with an unrestricted mentality as it relates to provision share some traits, three of which I discuss in this episode.

 

Abundance is often associated with material wealth- especially by people who live sensually; i.e they experience and understand life primarily by their senses. But when you live from the inside out, you undertsand that principles that govern life are rarely superficial, they involve both the seen and the unseen realm.

 

 

How has the abundance or poverty mindset showed up for you?

1. Lack relies on physical resources; Abundance relies on God's promises
2. The lack mindset wants it now; abundance is happy to wait
3. Lack takes at every opportunity- even when they don’t need it.

 

As usual I use examples from my experiences to underpin each point.

Have you subscribed to my Youtube Channel? The first episode gives a summary of my  business journey and the second is an overview with snippets of what I will be discussing. head to YouTube.com/toksaruoture and don't forget to like and share🙂

 

Let's connect

Im on the major social media platforms and I'd love to connect with you! @toksaruoture, and if you'd like to join my friends' list so you can get behind the scenes and be inspired by even more life and business lessons :)

 

I want to thank you most sincerely for helping to make my year complete. Your commitment to Living from the Inside out, your comments and questions and the feedback has really helped to keep me going. I pray 2022 will find you exploding into greatness as you resolve to live exactly as God intended for you to live. Happy new year!

Ep #49 Practical Abundance: Living Life Without Limits

Episode #49 is packed with many gems. I am excited to share some more on the abundance mindset in this episode, following on from the previous one. To recap;

 

1. Abundance is a mindset. It is not the things you own
2. There's a difference between an abundance mindset and a lack or poverty mentality. 
3. Poverty hides true wealth. And by this, I mean your mind and body can only accommodate so much. By freeing up some of the good but useless stuff, you have room for the better. But even more importantly, poverty covers the seeds you would have planted to yield good fruit.

 

While it is helpful to learn about abundance, it is even more important to practice it. The reason we adopt healthy mindsets is so that we can live healthy lives. Creating an abundance mindset will lead to you living in abundance. We consist of spirit, soul, and body. Many people focus only on the physical form of wealth, the part that our senses perceive; that's what we tend to go after.

 

But I believe true wealth, even the physical kind, is a by-product of walking in our purpose. So it follows then that if we are to live fully, we have to ensure that our spirit and mind embrace and align with abundance.

 

Practical ways to live in abundance are:

 

• You are a river, not a pond. 

See yourself as a river that's open at one end to receive from God, and open at the other to give to the world. Think of freshwater bubbling along, never stagnating or pooling up; that's what your available resource looks like. A pond mentality, on the other hand, relies on rain and precipitation as its source. Infrequent and uncertain in its availability. A pond has no outlet except by evaporation, and this translates into the vicissitudes of life. Seeing yourself connected to a limitless God will transform your thinking from lack to plenty.

 

• Give without expecting anything in return.

Giving breaks the poverty mindset faster than anything else. Because you can't give what isn't present. Giving alerts you to the blessings in your own life and elevates your position from the recipient to the benefactor.

 

• Practice Gratitude

Gratitude alerts you to just how blessed you are; it opens your eyes to what you have instead of what you are lacking. Generosity keeps your line of vision clear so you can identify hidden opportunities.

 

• Write your definition of success.

You are a unique being, and no one has the secret code to your success. We are bombarded with instructions on how to be successful, what we must do every morning and the exact steps to fulfil our purpose. Suppose you follow other people's opinions on success. In that case, you will end up frustrated as your search for resources will be futile. Your supplies are found on your path, not on someone else's.

 

• Dream Small

Because everyone tells us to 'dream big', but big dreams don't always inspire us to act. Sometimes big dreams discourage us as we don't have the space or faith to see it happen. When this is the case, dream small. Your big goal consists of multiple small dreams that lead to the grand finale. Even when that materialises, you will dream again.

 

Dates for your diary:

 

3/12/2021

YouTube Channel Launch

The First Episode of Living Inside Out on YouTube will be going live! Think the podcast on steroids 😄. Join me for a show packed full of inspiration, how to's, business tips, interviews, and so much more. If we are not yet connected on social, let's do so; my handle is toksaruoture and please, spread the word.

 

11/12/2021

Christian Women in Business: Finding God in the Most Unlikely Places

A free Zoom meeting for Sisters in Business. I feel such a burden to have an evening sharing my business journey and testimonies of how God got me out of situations that I couldn't see my way out of. My goal is to show you how to find God in seemingly impossible places while on your business journey.

 

16/01/2022

Introspective Journaling for Personal Growth. You all know that my journal is my best friend. And it isn't because it contains secrets and memories, but because writing is a powerful tool for discovering who you are, your purpose, your intentions and also for mapping out your dreams. Journalling is the most potent tool bar none because it extracts the powerful truths from your mind, which is the engine room of your life.

 

 

Resources:

From Prison to Praise- book on giving thanks

Netflix: The Black Godfather- documentary on Clarence Avant

The Light's House Online Church

Negations for Growth- episode on making agreements

Ep #48 Cultivating an Abundance Mindset

I didn't discover the abundance mindset while searching for it- I'd tried chasing after wealth and failed. I was trying to figure out why my present state at the time did not align with what God had promised. In fact, it looked like my life was running away from the blessings that were supposedly chasing after me.

 

Abundance is first a mindset. And unless you cultivate it, you cannot live in true abundance. Abundance is not necessarily wealth. People who define it as wealth spend their lives chasing money.

 

In this inspiring episode, I share three truths I discovered about living in abundance:

 

1. Abundance is a mindset
2. Abundance is not the amassing of things
3. A poverty mindset hides true wealth.

 

I also share a tip on how to cultivate an abundance mindset. Find out how the things you are holding on to obscures your view of the future. And did you know that holding on to the past does your future a disservice? Learn from my example where I held onto and paid for storage, for items that belonged in my past. The things you are holding on to are obscuring your view of more valuable things.

 

Listen to the full episode to discover how to cultivate the state of mind needed for a rich and fulfiling life.

 

Resources:

As a Man Thinketh- Bible Verse

As a Man Thinketh- Book

From Prison to Praise

Ep #36 The Future is Superior to the Present

 

Please save the date; 3rd December for the first episode on my YouTube Channel! It's going to be packed full of inspiration and precious gems that will cause you to unearth the hidden treasure you've been carrying.

 

Let's connect on social: @toksaruoture, and if you'd like to join my friends' list so you can get behind the scenes and be inspired by even more life and business lessons :)

 

And thank you for 5,000 downloads! To think that I was relunctant to start this podcast because of the limiting beliefs that I wouldn’t carry on? Using my voice to share authentically carries a level of vulnerability and I am grateful to you for giving me the space to do so 🧡

 

If you have not yet subscribed to this podcast, kindly do so and reveiw it too so others who want to live from the inside out can find us. Have a great week ahead!

Ep #47 Are You Too Busy? How Excessive Activity Can Derail Your Future

Are you too busy? How do you deal with stress? Do you even recognise when it is time to pause? Many entrepreneurs struggle to create enough room to function, this can lead to overworking. As a one who has run her own business for 15 years, I understand that there is a difference between being busy and being productive- but I sometimes struggle to recognise which is which. Having spent the last couple of months being excessively busy, I am excited to share with you, the lessons I learned.

 

My hope is that you will come to identify and isolate that which is good and needed while you discard the good yet unnecessary in your life.

 

Lessons learned:

1. Create Margins. Everything of value has a space around it; that'\s how you can tell it apart from its surroundings.
2. Declutter Do not limit decluttering to your physical space; be intentional about the conversations you hold and the thoughts you think too.
3. Keep your vision in front of you In pictorial, words or a physical reminder, having your destination in plain sight will keep you working on the big picture; that way you do not get bugged down with tiny little details.

 

Announcement: I'll be starting my Youtube channel soon, keep an eye out🙂

 

Read my interviews this month:

in The Flock Magazine 20 Questions with Toks Aruoture

The Baby Cot Shop Blog Mums who Manifest

 

Connect with me:

Stay in touch at toksauoture.com and lets hang out together on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook  Living Inside Out

Ep #46 Negotiations for Growth

We've all heard them, cliched quotes and sayings that our friends offer us when we are going through a rough patch. "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade!" But can you really say that you get encouraged by those sayings? How often has one of these sweet sayings got you up again after you had been hit with a boulder?

 

In my 18 years of entrepreneurial life, I cannot count how many obstacles have shown up on my path. Hurdles do not always get overcome, even by the most resilient of people. There are times you simply cannot power through or explain away a stumbling block. In those moments, you don't give up, you negotiate.

In this episode, I share some agreements I drew up while negotiating with a difficult circumstance. An agreement is an arrangement that two opposite sides come to so they can work together. It won't apply to anyone else as it is a contract between both parties. When your situation and expectations are irreconcilable, you have to create harmony to carry on on your journey.

1. Believe your roots are growing
2. Other currencies besides cash
3. You're the best man for the job

As usual, I share examples from my journey and hope that you will be inspired to draw up some agreements of your own.

Let's connect on Instagram @toksaruoture. I'm also on Facebook

 

Resources:

Bossing it with Sage

Chelsea in Bloom

Rock Star Story Workshop-18th September

 

 

 

Ep #45 Evolving Through Pain

How do you usually respond to bad experiences?

Do you explode in anger? Do you shrink into yourself emotionally? Do you detach yourself from the experience as much as possible? Do you ignore it?

 

John McDonnell once said, “Every problem introduces a person to himself."

This is a quote from John Maxwell's bestselling book, 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth

 

The well known adage says no pain, no gain. But do you know that all pain does not lead to gain? Difficult circumstances will only lead to growth if you have an intentional response to pain.

In this episode I share a recent difficult experience I have had and how my default response of ignoring the pain affected me negatively.

 

Pain is synonymous with growth. If there is one thing challenges help you do, it is to evolve. But you have to be willing. In this episode I share a recent experience. I had an opportunity I had to grow through pain but chose to ignore the pain. Ignoring or denying challenges will have a stagnating effect on one.

 

I also talk about our tendency to measure the intensity of a challenge against a man-made standard, such as some one else's pain. In reality, the only standard you have to live up to is the one God created you to be.

 

Resources:

 

Upcoming Workshops:

Journalling for Growth- 21st August

Write your Rock Star Story- 18th September

PR on a Budget- TBC

 

References

15 Invaluable Laws of Growth by John Maxwell

Like a Roaring Lion

Join my Friends List

Ep #44 Entrepreneurship: Practices that Hold You Back

How do you make business decisions? Many of us rely on external factors, others on instinct. I believe our mindset plays a part in deciding what direction to head in. Our habits and tendencies will take us one way or the other.

 

In this episode, we explore three damaging practices to avoid when growing your business.

 

Striking too Late

There is a time and a season for everything. Learning to recognise the seasons is vital when it comes to manifesting your dreams. Learn to read the signs that life offers you and watch out for those obstacles that slow us down, leading us to strike late.

 

Lack of Experts

Many budding entrepreneurs start out doing it all themselves. But a time comes when the engine needs to run on its own, and you need expert help to ensure it runs well. Avoid falling into the temptation of doing it all to save money when the business is crying out for expertise.

 

Short Sightedness.

Don't make decisions to alleviate your present discomfort at the expense of your future comfort. Seeing things from the point of view of the finished picture is a secret successful business owners practice.  Invest in learning, invest in growth because what got you here isn't enough to take you there.

 

 

Resources:

Shark Tank

The Profit

Isaac Planted & Reaped a Hundredfold

7 Little Steps

 

Events and Workshops

Journalling for Success Workshop 21st August 2021

 Learn how to journal for growth; you will be able to go from recurring dreams to creating a practical roadmap for your life.

Ep #43 Entrepreneurship: How Small thinking can Stifle Your Expansion

Most entrepreneurs have experienced the frustration of moving three steps forwards and three or even four steps back. There are some commonly found limiting mindsets that stop us from excelling, in a way we know we can. In this episode we address four of them:

 

Vanity Marketing

This can be mistaken for PR, the difference is the only increase you'll see will be the size of your ego. Or on the other hand, is what others say about you. Any form of marketing that focuses on improving your view of yourself will not attract customers. You may have an audience but they're there to admire, gawk and wonder how you got there. They are not there to buy from you.

 

Embellishing yourself

Many of us are guilty of this. We believe our potential clients have an expectation of who we are., so we carve out an image and force-fit ourselves into it. This is the opposite of authenticity and is rooted in the lack of awareness of the amazing gift you carry.

 

Revelling in your wins

This is when you stay too long at a place of success, and you miss the opportunities that pass by. Celebrate your successes but don't build an altar and worship them.

 

Emotional attachment

When I lost my business, every thought and idea grew from the ashes of the old. I could not divorce myself from the past because I was emotionally invested in it. You may have infused blood, sweat and tears into a venture but if it is no longer serving its purpose you have to let it go. Some businesses exist to train and prepare us for the next, but if your emotions lead you, you will not recognise this.

 

Listen to the full episode and let's connect on social to discuss further. @toksaruoture on IG and FB

 

Resources:

Register for the online Write your Rock Star Story Workshop. 

Learn how to tell the compelling, inspiring story of your journey. Your Rock Star Story will encourage you greatly, give you confidence and open opportunities. Tell the world how to relate to you so that those meant to align with you will recognise you. Spaces are limited.

 

Journalling for Success Workshop 21st August 2021

 Learn how to journal for growth; you will be able to go from recurring dreams to you creating a practical roadmap for your life.

 

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