Living Inside Out with Toks

Ep #62 Moving on From Mediocrity

The Middle Ground. The Neutral Zone. Mediocrity. In this episode, I share my thoughts on what mediocrity looks like.  Because it can show up looking like ambition. Years ago, after losing everything, I went from aiming for the stars to aiming for normalcy. The story of the temptation of Eve in the Bible forms the backdrop for this episode as I recently found myself on shaky ground. And I needed to uncover how I got from being so certain about my future to questioning everything around me.

 

Eve had it all made! Her life and marriage were figured out; what was it about her conversation with a serpent that caused her to throw it all away? She ended up in the middle ground. The space between where she used to be and where she was headed. And on that middle ground, you risk falling either to the left or right.

 

Mediocrity will have you believing you are advancing because you are no longer where you used to be. We say the sun rises and sets, right? In reality, it is stationary; it's the earth that moves. Likewise, you could be stationary, and the world's movement will have you thinking you are flourishing.

 

As always, I use examples from my life, particularly from the season I decided to settle in no man's land because it was more comfortable than where I used to be.

 

Affirmation:

My expectation is for better, not worse. Success, not failure. Completion, not abandoned projects. Excellence, not mediocrity. I am getting better and better as a... Insert Role (woman, as a mum, as a wife, as a business owner, as a friend, as a daughter). I am getting better as a person.

 

Resources:

The Temptation: Genesis Chapter 3

Affirmation: Proverbs 4:18

Get Unstuck: Mindset Mentoring Programme

 

Let's Connect:

Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.

Ep #61 Finding Treasure in Dark Places

In this episode, we carry on from last week, reviewing powerful lessons learned this year. Lessons are like breadcrumbs that show you the way forward; if you don't learn them, you'll soon find yourself going through the same challenge again.

 

April: I learned that taking action in one area often results in a blessing being released in another. We tend to plant a seed and watch for it to grow on the same spot. There are times that the tree sprouts up somewhere else; this means we should not stand on the same spot looking for fruit but instead go about our business, and the investment will yield results later.

 

May: In the month of May was all about recognising and picking up the pieces of your dreams. If you take the time to study the picture of your future, you will identify the pieces as you journey on. Cultivate a mindset of awareness- certainty that all around you lies the resources you need for your journey. Awareness stops you from chasing the bag, conserves energy, and keeps you on the right path.

 

June: Knowledge vs Wisdom

As we age, we will acquire knowledge, but there is a level of growth some of us will not experience because it lies on the other side of pain. Everyone talks about and expects progress. There is a steady progression that occurs daily. Even if we don't make any effort at all, we are changing. We are getting older. We are gaining life experiences. But don't mistake ageing for evolving. Knowledge is information from the outside, while wisdom produces truth from the inside. Wisdom is applied knowledge at the risk of discomfort to self. You can acquire knowledge but cannot be taught wisdom; it requires self-sacrifice, experience and a heart that seeks it.

 

Listen to the full episode and let me know your thoughts.

 

Let’s connect on Instagram; I have begun a series of lives with female business owners because experience is a great teacher- but it isn't the only teacher. You can watch the replay on my @toksaruoture with Alexandra Baldi, the founder of Compass Chelsea.

 

And if this episode has inspired you, i.e. led you to do some thinking, make some decisions and even better, act on it, get some more inspiration from Youtube.com/Toksaruoture

 

Don't forget to like, share and subscribe to this podcast and, of course, to my YouTube channel.

 

References:

Afefeyeye Restaurant

Ep #60 Looking back to finish well

We are officially in the second half of  2022, and in this landmark Episode #60, I look back at the year thus far.

 

I believe life is jam-packed with lessons, and those lessons come to help us navigate the onward journey.

 

So I thought I'd bring you into my sacred space, my journal, to see some life-changing lessons that didn't make it into the podcast- or my social media platforms. If living inside out was a book, this episode is what lies between the lines 😁

 

Some of the gems I share include:

1. Understanding the power of single dimension decisions- the seemingly small everyday tasks gave the power to create the life we want or keep us stagnant.
2. Learning to doubt your doubts: Some thoughts come to inform us, but the information isn't necessarily an instruction.
3. You are constantly faced with two choices, to go for what you desire or to quench the desire itself
4. Know that the human spirit is dynamic, not fixed. You are constantly evolving to become the person capable of fulfilling your unique purpose. So even when it looks impossible, don't accept it. Believe you can and allow God to mould you into the person who did.
5. Use mindset tools to get you out of a rut, such as recalling the fantastic things you have done. This helps you to recognise your abilities when challenges conceal them.

 

Next week we will continue with more lessons learned in the year's first half.

 

 

Mark your calendar:

My much-awaited programme, Get Unstuck, launches at the start of the school year, on the 15th of September. Registration will open on the 30th of July, with minimal spaces.

 

Get Unstuck is my unique system for exposing the mindsets that are holding you back because everyone has a desire to excel, but not everyone will live their best life. Mainly because we place more emphasis on doing than we do on becoming; much activity keeps you busy but not necessarily productive. Our actions are sparked by emotions, which our thoughts birth. So if you want to change the outcome, you must work backwards to unearth your thoughts. 

 

Now because I have had more requests for mentoring than I can physically accept, I will include free mentoring in the package. I have over 19 years of business experience, and there is nothing that will surprise me about running a business. I am also in my final year of being in my forties, so I come with a bucketload of life experiences too.

 

Head to toksaruoture.com to join my mailing list- or send me a DM.

 

Are we connected? To the max? 😁

Let’s connect on Instagram; I have begun a series of lives with female business owners because experience is a great teacher- but it isn't the only teacher. You can watch the replay on my @toksaruoture with Alexandra Baldi, the founder of Compass Chelsea.

 

And if this episode has inspired you, i.e. led you to do some thinking, make some decisions and even better, act on it, get some more inspiration from Youtube.com/Toksaruoture

 

Don't forget to like, share and subscribe to this podcast and, of course, to my YouTube channel.

 

 

 

Ep #59 The Power of a Non-Negotiable Why

Everyone talks about going for your dreams, don’t hold back, being resilient, etc. these are well-meaning phrases repeated by motivational gurus, but just how easy is it to go for your dreams? We can all agree resilience is necessary if we are to keep going, but how do we build strength when we get knocked down before we can stand straight up again?

 

By having a non-negotiable why.

 

In this episode, I share how having a non-negotiable why can override all the reasons to give up. The power released each time you look at your ‘why’ infuses you with the strength to either begin again or keep going.

 

As always, I draw examples from my life and Eric Thomas and Lisa Nichols, two well-loved motivational speakers who have generously shared their personal stories over the years.

 

I hope that by the end of this inspiring episode, you’d have unearthed powerful reasons to produce fruit from the seeds God planted within you.

 

Announcement:

I'll be opening up a much-needed programme soon, where I will be working with a few people to transform through a change in their mindset. Send me a DM or email if you'd like to know more.

 

 

Resources

Ep #25 Evidence-Based Living

Eric Thomas

Lisa Nichols

 

 

Let's Connect:

Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.

Ep #58 Taking Ownership of Your Dreams: Embracing the Ugly

In this Episode, I take you back in time to my early days in business; because the good stuff is always readily available to see. Let's face it, I am more likely to post a link of a press interview that shows me in a good light, than I am if the article said some not so nice things about me. Life, business is hard. This isn't just a cliche but a statement of fact.

 

But just because it's true does not mean we should embrace the opportunity to quit when it shows up. I have had many of those, some I accepted, others I was able to turn my back on and keep moving.

 

Is there a  secret to why people press on when they should quit? I think so. But I believe that the secret applies to that individual only; which is why we must take time to listen to what our soul is saying.

 

Your path is unique and the answers to the challenges you meet are unique to you. Growth is painful, yet it is pain that builds resilience. You need resilience to get up when you fall- and to try again when you fail.

 

Listen to this inspiring episode and let me know your thoughts!

 

Resources

Ep #54: Recognising The Pieces of Your Dreams

 

Amazing Massage:

Saeng Jan Thai Spa

http://saengjanthaispa.co.uk

 

 

Let's Connect:

Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out together on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.

Ep #57 Taking Ownership: The Key to Navigating Your Path

In this episode, I share my thoughts on taking ownership of three areas of your life that can place you in the driving seat of your life. 

No one likes pain and disappointments; no one wants to be the bearer of mistakes. If we could choose, I’m sure we’d choose the good, the pleasant all the time, or at least more often than we currently experience it.  I believe life is a balance between pleasant and unpleasant, easy and difficult, predictable and surprising. And balance does not mean equal parts; it simply means we swing from one end to the other and find ourselves somewhere between both extremes.  

Being able to embrace the good, the bad, and the ugly in our lives is a skill we must develop to direct the course of our lives.  

Ow Your Mistakes

If you can take responsibility and not shift blame or look for anyone or circumstance to blame, you will have mastery over the trajectory of your life. Because fault gives power to the thing you are according it.

Own Your Emotions

Our environments or circumstances feed our thoughts, and thoughts spark emotions, while emotions lead to actions which create the environment that provides our thoughts. So if you do not own your feelings, you don’t own the circumstances you find yourself in, which means you cannot actively change them. You will remain in a cycle of trial and error, hope and disappointment.  

Own Your Results

It follows from the previous point that by owning your environment, which feeds your thoughts and ultimately leads you to take action, you are responsible for the results of your effort. A faultfinder sees the challenges and blames them, while one who takes ownership recognises them and carries on despite them.   The joy of owning your environment and your life- the good, the bad and the ugly means you are on the right side of the soil. You are here, in our beautiful, though the fallen world. It’s all yours to utilise and enjoy.  

Connect

Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let’s stay in touch at www.toksauoture.com and hang out on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.

Ep #56: Recognising the Lessons that Show Up on Your Path

Years ago, I learned to stop searching for the exit door whenever I found myself in a dark place. I considered the possibility of there being a lesson, a hidden gem and I was supposed to find it. I believe every challenge comes to teach us something, and we will learn the lesson when we stop running and start seeking.

 

In this episode, I share the mindsets to adopt when going through the fire to come away wiser so you do not waste the trial. I use the promise God gave to Abraham that everywhere the soles of his feet shall tread upon belonged to him. The land had healthy trees that bore delicious fruit; it flowed with milk and honey and thorns and thistles, as is the case with all land. But it all belonged to Abraham to do what he wanted with it.

 

1. Have a mindset of ownership- understand that the entirety of your life is yours, including the ugly and the bad. This mindset allows you to embrace and use the challenge as a tool and not see it as a burden you have to escape from
2. Pray for progress, not relief- it is possible to use the pain as payment for a future gain. Instead of seeking relief, allow the pain to be your investment for the wisdom and liberation that you'll later receive.
3. Is not life more than food? You are made up of many layers and facets. Don't exalt this momentary trouble to a god-like status and worship it. There is so much more to you than this minuscule situation.
4. Employ both intrinsic and extrinsic motivation- There will be times you cannot sufficiently move yourself into action; in those moments, look around you ad use whatever you find as a tool to motivate you. It is your land, after all.

Resources:

Evolving through pain: Episode #45 Living Inside Out

Le Shuttle

Matthew 6:25: Is not life more than food?

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing?

 

Chelsea in Bloom 23rd - 28th May

 

Connect

Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out together on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.

Ep #55 Recognising the Hindrances to Your Dreams

Have you ever been in a place where you are clear on what you want, but unseen forces seem to stop you from achieving it? In this episode, we look at how our response to our emotions can determine whether or not we manifest our dreams.

 

Once you have a clear picture of where you are headed, and you can get yourself to believe that the picture is valid and you deserve to enjoy it, you now need to recognise the hindrances that can stop you, and I share these three:

 

1. your reluctance to experience pain- has the threat. of pain stopped you in your path?
2. Staying in your feelings- Indulgent emotions feel good but are bad for you
3. Being led by your emotions- Emotions are powerful but make bad leaders

 

As always, I pull out examples from my life to show you how these barriers have shown up in my life.

I hope you will recognise your dreams' limitations and take preemptive action.

 

Resources:

Joy or Pain: Emotional Decision Making- Episode 6, Living Inside Out

When Life Stops- A podcast on grief

 

Connect

Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out together on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out

Ep #54: Recognising The Pieces of Your Dreams

Did you know that the pieces of your dream are scattered on your path? Signposts and suggestions, directions and instructions, are all snippets or at least indications of the complete picture of your life, and as you journey, you are meant to pick them up.

 

In this episode, I pull out lessons from the early days of running my business and how I learned to recognise the pieces of my imagined future.

 

I believe that we are all designed with everything we need to manifest our hearts’ desires, but we pick up pieces that are not part of the picture because we are sensual beings.

 

I faced many rejections, no doubt you have as well, and it is tempting to interpret a rejection of your request from individuals as the rejection of your dream by the world.

 

Cultivating a habit of looking for the diamond in the rough will ensure these misinterpretations of events do not trip you up.

 

Learn to find the lesson in the difficulty, as opposed to the nearest exit, so you can become suitably skilled to operate in that dream.

 

My hope is that by the end of this episode, you will begin to cultivate the practice of recognising the parts of your future that are strewn around while also identifying the blockers that stop you from picking them up.

 

Watch:

I had the honour of being a guest on the maiden episode of Metamorphoo, a new talk show that tackles topics Christians tend to shy away from. Watch the replay

 

Listen

Check out this interesting episode where I talked about the sterility of ideas birthed from yours and the opinions of others. Just like hybrids

Episode 4: Other people’s Opinions

 

Connect

Head to youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out together on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out

Ep #53: Rest Over Stress: Choosing a new way to grow

"How well do you work under stress?"

 

This is a question asked during interviews, and if you answer in the affirmative, you score some brownie points.

 

In our society, working and living under stress is almost celebrated to the point where we question ourselves when life is going too smoothly.

In this episode, I share a discovery I made during my recent vacation; the possibility of living and growing from rest.

 

I believe our soul gravitates towards its most pressing need, while the body is drawn to the things that bring pleasure. If you desire tranquillity over much activity, you need to rest.

 

Rest does not have to be a separate, scheduled event. You can operate from a place of rest. Choose activities that move you to reflect so that your actions are sparked off by your internal GPS.

 

Because no points will be given for having a battered body. There are no awards for being the most exhausted either.

 

Benefits of Rest:

 

1. It kickstarts intrinsic motivation, leading to the desired destination. The flip side is being externally motivated. This may get you started but will not guarantee long term results. Because by quietening the noise all around you, you get to hear what really matters. The internal GPS.

 

Rest helps you notice what matters.

Rest reveals the elephant carved out of the rock, so you see an elephant when you look. Not a distorted rock. (Listen to hear the full illustration)

 

Rest alerts you to what you are feeding on.

When you extend the concept of rest to the amount and mix of information you ingest, you become aware of how much junk we are offered daily.

 

I am excited to hear your thoughts on this episode, and can I ask that you kindly share it with three people you believe will benefit from listening to it. 

 

Also, please give it a five-star review wherever you're listening.

 

 

Resources:

Head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out.

 

I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out together on Instagram- @toksaruoture 

and on Facebook,  Living Inside Out

 

And finally, check out the Goal Achievers' Mastermind Group and join the waiting list for the next cohort.