Living Inside Out with Toks

Ep #82 Tina Turner: A Rock Star Story

I truly believe everyone goes through their fair share of failures in life. It's part of being human, after all. But you know what's interesting? When we talk about our own stories, we often hold back and only share the highlights. Well, in this episode, I want to change that.

Let me take you on a journey through the extraordinary life of the iconic Rock Star, Tina Turner. Now, when you hear her name, two things probably come to mind: the rock music legend she is and her difficult marriage with Ike Turner.

But here's the thing: if you're going through something that has brought up feelings of shame in you, whether it was your fault or someone else's, this episode is for you. Because, let's face it, failure is something we all experience, yet we tend to shy away from discussing it openly. But your story, my friend, is worth telling.

Your Rock Star Story is the beautiful tapestry of your life, with its ups, downs, regrets, and victories. It's about viewing yourself as a winner, even in the face of adversity. And guess what? It doesn't end with where you are today. No, it continues into the future that you've envisioned for yourself. Your story is a testament to the fact that despite everything, you've emerged victorious. But here's the catch: you have to write it.

So, why should you rewrite your story in its rock star version? Here are three compelling reasons:

1. To embrace and overcome shame: Shame has a sneaky way of making us hide the parts of our story that make us cringe. But it's precisely those parts that hold the key to your breakthrough and can resonate with others who have experienced similar struggles. The world craves human connection, and telling your story allows you to take back the power of your narrative and hold it firmly in your own hands.

2. To unleash your confidence: By rewriting your story, you'll unleash a newfound confidence to show up as your authentic self. No more picking and choosing which parts to bring to the table based on who's listening. You get to be unapologetically you, and that's where your true strength lies.

3. To rediscover yourself: Through this process, you'll see yourself in a different light. You'll recognize your own strength, resilience, and capabilities. It's time to let go of the notion that you're weak or a failure. You are so much more than that, my friend.

Once you're done listening to this podcast episode, grab a pen and paper. Start writing your story, your rock star journey. And hey, if you're interested, I'd love for you to join me in a Rock Star Story workshop. It's an opportunity to dive deeper into this process and connect with others who are rewriting their own stories. You can find all the details here:

Remember, your story matters. So let's embrace it, rewrite it, and rock it out together!

 

Resources:

VIA Strengths Finder Test

Rock Star Story Workshop

www.toksaruoture.com

pa@toksaruoture.com

 

 

Ep #81 Is Emotional Decision Making Sabotaging your Dreams?

When I became a mum, I was hit with the sobering realisation that I was now responsible for the direction an entire human would take. It was heavy. The truth is, I had been accountable for my life for many years before then. When making decisions, we can go in one of three directions; throw caution to the wind and go for it, contemplate and consider all possibilities; or do nothing.

Relying on our feelings to decide for us is easy but irresponsible because emotions, though incredibly powerful and convincing, also make bad rulers.

In this episode, we explore three ways our emotions can sabotage our journey when they come into the picture.

 

1. Sitting and waiting for everything to be perfect
2. Relying on the physical or emotional for inspiration.
3. Using past successes as a measure of our capability.

 

As always, I draw examples from my journey; I hope you are inspired sufficiently to explore how you make decisions🙂

 

Resources:

Rubber hand sensory experiment 

 

Past episode references:

#80 Turning Pain into Purpose with Ashley Randolph

#76 Comfort: Thief of Destinies

#75 Making Peace with Trials

#74 The Journey of a Tenacious Entrepreneur with Sherri Blum

#72 How to Build Resilience

 

Growth

The Mindset Mentoring programme runs twice a year. Every dream you have for yourself is valid. God gave you the vision. He also equipped you with everything you need to manifest it physically. Join me on an exciting journey to Get Unstuck through mindset mentoring as we peel back the layers that have camouflaged your gifts and then gain the clarity you need to use them to propel forward. Spaces are limited as we run the course in small groups. 

 

Start Date: 24th June 2023

Duration: Six Weeks

Cost £1299 per person

 

Let's Connect:

Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don't you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out together on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.

Ep #80 Turning Pain into Purpose with Ashley Randolph

This is a special episode, as it is our 80th one, but made even more special by  my guest, a Rock Star, Ashley Randolph. Ashley is the founder of Glo Preemies and Co-Founder of the Alliance for Black NICU Families.

And she is a ROCK STAR because she turned her challenges, literally into a purpose. I believe purpose must tick three boxes:
1. Glorify God.
2. Help others.
3. Grow you in the process.

Ashley takes us on a journey that begins with her desire to become a doctor, getting into pre-medical school and then getting pregnant and dropping out at the age of 21. Normally, that's enough to cause one to imagine the challenges she must have gone through. Normally, she'd be a statistic- young, single girl gets pregnant, dreams die. Normally, we wouldn't even know her name.

But this Rock Star went on to get married, have three babies all pre-term, experience the shortcomings of  the medical care system and still come out on top. Today, she uses her experiences to empower and encourage families who are going through or have gone through what she did.

My hope is that as you listen, you will be inspired to rewrite your story, so that your pain becomes your purpose. Enjoy!

 

Resources:

 

Ashley's IG: @glopreemiesfounder
Website:  www.GLOPreemies.org
Other Social Media Platforms: Glo Preemies

 

The Mindset Mentoring programme runs twice a year. Every dream you have for yourself is valid. God gave you the vision. He also equipped you with everything you need to manifest it physically. Join me on an exciting journey to Get Unstuck through Mindset Mentoring as we peel back the layers that have camouflaged your gifts and then gain the clarity you need to use them to propel forward. Spaces are limited as we run the course in small groups. 
 
Start Date: 24th June 2023
Duration: Six Weeks
Cost £1299 per person
 

Let's Connect:
Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out together on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.

Ep #79 Get Unstuck: How to Expose the Beliefs that are Holding You Back

This episode is for you if you've ever felt stuck and unable to move forward- despite knowing you should. We often hear about mindsets and limiting beliefs, but what does that mean?

 

First, you have to understand where your mind sits in the process of manifesting ideas. Your mind is sandwiched between your spirit and your body. Ideas and pictures from your spirit are fed into your mind; you then process and pass them to your body as an instruction to take action. The trouble starts when an interruption or blockage stops you from manifesting or acting on your idea. It can be as apparent as the fear of failure or as complex as your view of the world based on childhood experiences; anything that interrupts the flow as it makes its way from your mind into the outer world is a limiting belief.

 

Everyone has a mindset, and how they interact with the world can be positive or negative, yet they are often subtle. In this exciting episode, I pull out two modules from my ongoing course, Get Unstuck: A Mindset Mentoring Program. 

 

1. Introspection- the practice of looking inside yourself or self-reflection. One of our mantras is the inside is superior to the outside. If you want to change the results you see, you must begin internally because our lives reflect our thoughts. This module teaches about the necessity to contemplate, the wrong and right ways to do so and how to utilise what we discover for our growth.
2. Lies we believe- The subtle lies that are on the surface harmless but manage to hold us back. Lies, such as expecting your current challenge to follow the pattern of the previous one or that your unfavourable circumstance means you are on the wrong path.

 

The Mindset Mentoring programme runs twice a year. Every dream you have for yourself is valid. God gave you the vision. He also equipped you with everything you need to manifest it physically. Join me on an exciting journey to Get Unstuck through Mindset Mentoring as we peel back the layers that have camouflaged your gifts and then gain the clarity you need to use them to propel forward. Spaces are limited as we run the course in small groups. 

 

Start Date: 24th June 2023

Duration: Six Weeks

Cost £1299 per person

 

Let's Connect:

Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out together on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.

Ep #78 Comfort: The Thief of Destinies

How can comfort, you might ask, be the thief of anyone's destiny? Shouldn't we be moving more towards rest and protecting our mental health?

Hear me out... Somehow, some time ago, we were led to believe we must stop to correct every wrong and stoop to straighten every curve. But what if the way to the smooth is through the rough? 

Recent experiences led me to Make Peace with my Trials., episode #75, and also recognise the benefits of trials and using them to build resilience, Episode 76. I used the story of Andrew Ly, the founder of Sugarbowl Bakery, to show how an immigrant mindset can help us propel forward.

Last week, we launched our newest baby crib in Harrods, the most famous department store in the world. But amid such exciting news, I was also weathering a different storm, so much so that I almost let the opportunity slip. Because comfort and relief were more appealing than walking through the fire

 

The danger of seeking comfort amid challenges is that you may give all your time, energy and space to the problem and miss the opportunity to move forward.

 

Listen to the full episode to uncover the dangers of seeking comfort. It is possible to grow through the storm, but many of us prefer to stop and tend to the problems.

 

Get Unstuck is back! My mindset mentoring course is designed to help you recognise and remove limiting beliefs. I know first-hand the difference a new mindset makes. I learned the hard way that I can only change what I see and experience by working on my inside, to yield an external result.

 

I invite you to go on this six-week journey with me and develop a new mindset, ready to create extraordinary results. With a small fee, you can sign up and be transformed, ready to walk through the fire if needed, so you can manifest the picture you are carrying.

 

Spaces are limited to six attendees; read more or send an email to pa@toksaruoture.com

https://toksaruoture.com/get-unstuck-mentoring-course/

Ep #77 Take a Seat at the Table with Funmi Onuma

"If you're not invited to the table, create your own table"

 

In a male dominated industries, women who are openly ambitious are frequently labeled as “aggressive” by the society. Even if you can push past all that, sometimes you get to the table and you’re told here’s no place for you. Or, worse yet, you discover "your table" doesn't actually exist. Funmi Onuma is here to tell us to make our own table.

In this episode, Funmi and I talked about women in the cinema industry and that we should own our abilities and grab the opportunities that come our way. We may think we are not qualified of something, but the truth is, the opportunities would have never come our way if we weren't capable at the first place. Think about this the next time you feel the burden of doubt and hesitation. Despite the circumstances, we, women, belong to the society that we want ourselves to be in.

Visit Funmi Onuma's website if you wish to know more of her and her works here www.funmionuma.com then follow her social media accounts (LinkedIn, Facebook and Instagram) "Funmi Onuma.

Let's Connect: Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out together on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.

Ep #76 The Benefits of Trials: Adopting an Immigrant Mentality

In this Episode we compare two mentalities, the one who recognizes pain as part of the process and the one who expect no pain, and still, success.

The Immigrant Mentality used to have negative connotations until people started to take note that they worked incredibly hard, were unfazed by difficulties and ran successful businesses. Contrast that to indigenes who have higher expectations of success, with less effort; the goal of many indigenous people is comfort.

 

Our paths are dotted with obstacles and wins, but if we are aiming for comfort, chances are that is what we'll work towards. Episode 75 teaches us how to make peace with trials; because rejecting and vilifying our problems will keep us stuck as we fight to change it into our preferred scenario.

The pain of sacrifice  is the currency used to purchase our dreams. If you are not prepared to pay, you will not receive the goods.

 

Don't make the mistake of thinking hardship is the same as sacrifice. You can go through hardship due to ignorance, laziness, complacency. procrastination and the likes and sit still waiting for it to end. That is not sacrifice. That is the consequence.

 

Let's Connect:

Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out together on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.

Ep #75 Making Peace with Trials

Trials. Difficulties. Challenges. It's all the same. Many of us define our lives by seasons; for example, we name a season difficult when things are not going as planned. In this landmark episode, #75, I share a lesson I am currently learning- making peace with trials.

 

Episode 72, How to Build Resilience, formed the foundation of this lesson. If you are going to accept what you cannot change, and embrace your life in its entirety, you must first learn how to be resilient.

 

Making peace with difficult situations does not mean embracing or expecting a life wrought with challenges. It means recognising that this is a normal part of life and you are equipped o handle it.

 

Life is a journey and not a destination. Treating your life as a destination will lead you to:

1. Build an altar to the problem and worship it- and you'll give all your attention to it while forgetting to live life.
2. Fail to see the good in your life- except when you compare your situation to others experiencing a 'worse' pain.
3. Struggle to have constant joy or peace- peace should be the foundation from which you operate; without it, your efforts will be inconsistent.

 

Making peace with the challenges in your life allows you to operate and progress through the pain instead of waiting for it to be over, thereby placing your life on hold. Remember that life still goes on even if you press the pause button.

 

Resources

I have been interviewing some phenomenal women, and you can catch them all on Living Inside Out, YouTube:

 

Beverly Adaeze: Living Authentically

Celia Toks: Raising Teens with Intention

Kiki Jolugbo: Raising Our Boys with Intention

Sherri Blum: The Journey of a Tenacious Entrepreneur

 

 

I love hearing true stories of life and business because when I sought such stories of successful businesswomen, they were hard to come by. Authentic stories are inspiring and permit us to live the way God created us to and tell our stories so others can be blessed. Know someone with an intriguing journey? Please send them my way but dropping a note here https://toksaruoture.com/contact/

 

Let's Connect:

Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out together on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.

Ep #74 The Journey of a Tenacious Entrepreneur with Sherri Blum

One of life's most outstanding teachers is experience, and experience tells us that nothing is certain- someone famously added, except death and taxes. Learning to accept the things you cannot change is one thing. Having the courage to evolve from your challenges is quite another. When running a business, we must be prepared to expect surprises; it is never a straightforward journey. You have to deal with layers, and you rarely get the opportunity to deal with one thing at a time. There are mindsets to explore, thoughts to dissect and obstacles to navigate- and let's not forget to add multiple expert opinions you have to wade through.

 

I chat with my dear friend and sister, Sherri Blum, in this episode. Sherri has mastered reinventing herself when life's curveballs come hurtling at her. She is a mum, wife, and serial entrepreneur and just a beautiful soul, inside and out.

 

We chat about life, business, family and more in this episode. Have your pen and paper handy to take notes!

 

About Sherri Blum:

Sherri Blum has an extensive background in design, art and marketing which began over 25 years ago when she pioneered the field of nursery interior design. Sherri became a nationally renowned designer and artist through her firm, Jack and Jill Interiors, Inc. Her designs and line of custom children’s artwork quickly became a favourite among celebrities such as The Cake Boss, Buddy Valastro, Mario Lopez, Jodie Sweetin, Tori Spelling, Angela Kinsey, John O’Hurley and

more. Her designs were featured on HGTV, People Magazine, In Touch Magazine, OK Magazine, Extra TV, The Wall Street Journal and more.

Ep #73 Raising Teens with Intention- Celia Toks Family

Raising our teens today in this digital age can be quite challenging, but Celia shows the world that it can be beautiful and fun. Chances are that you have had someone say something negative about raising teenagers.

Every generation is different and has to navigate the world in a way the previous one didn't. In this episode, I chat with Celia Toks and her adorable teenage daughters about how there are navigating their world. Lizzie and Rachel's maturity, authenticity and innocence are admirable, and their relationship with their mother is beautiful.

I took away many gems from our conversations like we don't have to parent in a cookie-cutter fashion; you can be authentically you and still win. The best way to raise our children is to raise them as we want to, not as a society, culture, or family history dictates.

You can watch the episode on YouTube to see their beautiful faces :D