Living Inside Out with Toks

Ep #92 Overcoming Impostor Syndrome

Today we're diving into the topic of overcoming impostor syndrome.

In this episode, we explore the insidious ways impostor syndrome can manifest in our lives:

1. **Seeking External Validation:** Relying on others' approval to feel worthy, even when we've achieved success.

2. **Crippling Self-Doubt:** Allowing impostor syndrome to undermine our confidence and hinder our ability to make decisions.

3. **Fear of Success:** Subconsciously sabotaging our own progress due to a deep-seated belief that we're not deserving of our achievements.

Drawing from personal experiences and insights, I share practical strategies to combat impostor syndrome:

1. **Celebrating Wins:** Taking time to acknowledge and celebrate even the smallest victories empowers us to recognise our worth.

2. **Preparation and Practice:**

Thoroughly preparing for tasks or projects helps alleviate anxiety and boosts confidence.

3. **Self-Affirmation:** Embracing self-praise, free from the constraints of cultural stigma, reinforces our sense of self-worth and diminishes the grip of impostor syndrome.

Join me as we navigate the complexities of impostor syndrome and embark on a journey towards self-acceptance and empowerment.

**Past Episode References:**
- Episode 12: Toxic Friendships: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iATOLZd9KEk&list=PLMsxgKktXsjbYxCMgQINuPV6WE6nB8soR&index=80

- Episode 9: Lies We Believe: Exposing the Mindsets that Limit Growth: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VhPxdD7QkQ&list=PLMsxgKktXsjbYxCMgQINuPV6WE6nB8soR&index=83

Thank you for tuning in! Don't forget to subscribe and rate this episode, and I look forward to connecting with you on social media at toksaruoture. Until next time!

 

EXCITING NEWS! I'll be hosting a PR workshop titled 'Transform Your Stories into Headlines.' this coming 18th of May at 7pm via Zoom. Learn storytelling, media relations, and guerrilla tactics for personal and business brand success.

Want to learn more? Check out all the details and secure your spot at this link.

Ep #91 The Christian Entrepreneur

This week we are continuing our 'entrepreneur' series and exploring what it looks like to be a Christian entrepreneur. I considered naming this episode The Spiritual Entrepreneur, but I realised that "spiritual" can mean many things to different people. So, it helps to be clear on this.

Personal Story: Finding Guidance

My earliest recollection of leaning on God for guidance as a Christian businesswoman was when I prayed for a mentor. God took my cry for help seriously and sent me Betsy Stevenson, a wonderful mentor who guided me through the fog. Her warmth and friendship is why I am committed to mentoring women entrepreneurs.

 

God's Intervention in Business Decisions

I’ve experienced God’s intervention numerous times in my business journey, from deciding whether to sell my store to navigating the complexities of building a website. Each time, His guidance was clear and led to remarkable outcomes.

 

Learning from Challenges

Through prayer and obedience, I’ve learned valuable lessons in business. Obedience in one area often releases favour in another, leading to unexpected opportunities and growth.

 

Inviting God into your Business

How can you include God in the running of your business? Believe in His desire to see you succeed, pray from a place of victory, and know that obedience often leads to favour and blessings.

 

Announcements

If you missed my interview with Channels TV, it will re-air this Saturday at 7:30pm on the programme Africans in Diaspora. Also, I have a PR workshop coming up in May. Send me a message to learn more.

 

Workshops & Courses

I am excited to announce our upcoming PR on a Shoestring Workshop.

One thing I can say after being in business for almost 20 years is that PR is essential. My business would not be where it is without PR. Having started with $75, I had no budget to pay an agency or pay for advertising. Yet, I ended up in national and international publications like Vogue, Hello!, Architectural Digest, The Telegraph., Times, Channel 4, ITV, BBC, and so many more. In this workshop, I will teach you all I know to get yourself into the media without having to pay thousands. Email pa@toksaruoture.com to register your interest, and we will add you to the list once we finalise the details.

 

Your Rock Star Story

Your story is waiting to be written. If you don't write it, someone will do so for you; it will soon become your narrative. Some of us are already living someone else's version of our story. End that today and purchase the Introduction to Your Rock Star Story course. This is a 2-hour video that allows you to work through the process at your own pace. My story took me from hiding to the TEDx stage. What I was once ashamed of became my calling card. And you can do the same for yourself today.

If you have not subscribed to and rated the Living Inside Out podcast, please do so on your favourite podcast app. It helps me grow my listenership and reach more people with relevant content. Thank you!

Gratitude

Thank you for tuning in and listening to this podcast. If it has blessed you in any way, please share it with your friends and give us a five-star rating. I wish you a fantastic day ahead. God bless you.

 

Resources:

1. Betsy Stevenson, founder of Clear Creek Group
2. Toks Aruoture's TED Talk: 
3. Channels TV interview: Diaspora Network
4. Website

 

 

Ep #90 The Confident Entrepreneur

Are you lacking confidence as an entrepreneur? Do you make business decisions confidently?

 

As we look forward to the future, we must reflect on our past experiences and learn from them. This episode explores decision-making and the correlation between confidence and results. We'll examine how our external and internal factors influence our decision-making process and how we can improve our confidence as entrepreneurs.

 

The start of a new business comes with sufficient fuel to get you started but not enough to keep you going. External factors and doubt may creep in, and you may begin to blame your decisions for the fluctuations and unpredictability typical to business. This may lead to paralysis when it comes to decision-making.

 

 

During the episode, we'll share three valuable tips to increase your confidence.

 

The first tip is to recognise and embrace your uniqueness, gifts, and peculiarities. Don't try to conform to societal norms and sacrifice your individuality.

 

Secondly, we'll discuss the importance of keeping your word to yourself. When you commit to something, follow through and reinforce your ability to do what you want.

 

Finally, we'll touch on admitting when you don't know something. There's no shame in not knowing; recognising our limitations is crucial to growing and learning.

 

So, stay tuned for this exciting episode, and let's learn together how to make decisions confidently and with ease.

Workshops & Courses

I am excited to announce our upcoming PR on a Shoestring Workshop.

One thing I can say after being in business for almost 20 years is that PR is essential. My business would not be where it is without PR. Having started with $75, I had no budget to pay an agency or pay for advertising. Yet, I ended up in national and international publications like Vogue, Hello!, Architectural Digest, The Telegraph., Times, Channel 4, ITV, BBC, and so many more. In this workshop, I will teach you all I know to get yourself into the media without having to pay thousands. Email pa@toksaruoture.com to register your interest, and we will add you to the list once we finalise the details.

 

Your Rock Star Story

Your story is waiting to be written. If you don't write it, someone will do so for you; it will soon become your narrative. Some of us are already living someone else's version of our story. End that today and purchase the Introduction to Your Rock Star Story course. This is a 2-hour video that allows you to work through the process at your own pace. My story took me from hiding to the TEDx stage. What I was once ashamed of became my calling card. And you can do the same for yourself today.

 

 

 

If you have not subscribed to and rated the Living Inside Out podcast, please do so on your favourite podcast app. It helps me grow my listenership and reach more people with relevant content. Thank you!

Ep 89 The Intuitive Entrepreneur

How often have you felt stuck, unable to make a business decision because your gut does not align with your logic?

The Practical vs. the Intuitive: Entrepreneurs often prioritise the practical and tangible aspects of business, which are undoubtedly essential. However, the gift of intuition, particularly prevalent in women, should not be overlooked.

The Challenge of Intuition: Intuition is a deeply personal experience arising from within our 'gut'. Unlike tangible skills, intuition cannot be taught or explained by others. Many individuals operate superficially, placing value solely on tangible and emotional experiences.

Developing Intuition in Business: To incorporate intuition into business practices, it's crucial to start small. Begin by acknowledging your intuitive capabilities and actively listening to them.

 

Workshops & Courses

I am excited to announce our upcoming PR on a Shoestring Workshop.

One thing I can say after being in business for almost 20 years is that PR is essential. My business would not be where it is without PR. Having started with $75, I had no budget to pay an agency or pay for advertising. Yet, I ended up in national and international publications like Vogue, Hello!, Architectural Digest, The Telegraph., Times, Channel 4, ITV, BBC, and so many more. In this workshop, I will teach you all I know to get yourself into the media without having to pay thousands. Email pa@toksaruoture.com to register your interest, and we will add you to the list once we finalise the details.

 

Your Rock Star Story

Your story is waiting to be written. If you don't write it, someone will do so for you; pretty soon, it will become your narrative. Some of us are already living someone else's version of our story. End that today and purchase the Introduction to Your Rock Star Story course. This is a 2-hour video that allows you to work through the process at your own pace. My story took me from hiding to the TEDx stage. What I was once ashamed of became my calling card. And you can do the same for yourself today.

 

If you have not subscribed to and rated the Living Inside Out podcast, please do so on your favourite podcast app. It helps me grow my listenership and reach more people with relevant content. Thank you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ep #88 The Danger of Self-Consciousness

🎙️ Welcome Back to Living Inside Out! Thank you for tuning in!! Whether you're a returning listener or joining us for the first time, I'm thrilled to have you here. In this episode, we dive deep into the intersection of faith, mindset, and entrepreneurship, exploring themes of self-discovery, growth, and overcoming obstacles.

🌟 Highlights from My Recent Trip: I share insights from my journey to Lagos, including my experiences at the Leadership Conference and Awards where I had the privilege of speaking to a distinguished audience about the world's greatest lie and the power of personal responsibility.

💡 Unlocking Your Gifts: Discover the importance of operating in your gifts and how it can lead to personal and professional fulfillment. I discuss practical steps for gaining clarity, expanding your network, and embracing vulnerability on your path to success.

🔑 Overcoming Self-Consciousness: Learn how to silence the inner critic and step into your true potential by embracing vulnerability and shedding self-consciousness. Drawing inspiration from the biblical story of the widow with the jar of oil, we uncover the courage it takes to pursue our dreams despite fear of judgment.

🌱 Next Steps: Ready to take the next step on your journey of growth and empowerment? Stay tuned for exciting news about an upcoming PR workshop designed to help you elevate your personal brand and business. Details will be announced soon, but if you're interested, feel free to contact pa@toksaruoture.com for more information!

🙏 Thank You for Your Support: I'm grateful for your patience during our hiatus and excited to be back on air. Your support means the world to me, and I look forward to sharing more inspiring content with you in the weeks to come.

For questions or support on any of my mindset courses, please email pa@toksaruoture.com 

 

Let's Connect:
Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out together on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.

Ep #87 Spiritual Lessons from 2023

Compliments of the season!! Can you believe 2023 just happened? It's a behind-the-scenes situation because I still feel like it's June, and I have six months to do what I intended. 😂

 

Thank you for the comments, shares and feedback on my TEDx talk, The superpower of Authentic Storytelling

If you haven't watched it, click to do so, and please continue to share it. More on that next week.

 

To thank everyone who supported me this year, we are offering a FREE workshop for Write Your Rock Star Story this coming December 29th, 2024 at 6PM, UK Time, via Zoom.

To secure your spot on the official attendee list, kindly complete the Registration Form, accessible through this link: https://forms.gle/EvqDmj9m29g7dLCXA

If you know anyone eager to unlock their full potential, kindly share this information with them. Let's collectively redefine our stories and embark on a journey of brilliance together.

 

In this episode, I share three spiritual lessons I learned in 2023. These were borne out of personal experiences, as opposed to books I read or sermons I heard. 

 

1. God is Faithful.

People in the Christian community will agree that this has become a cliche. But we must take note of cliches because they are often heavy with truth. I share that God is faithful, which isn't just a nice or religiously correct thing to say; it is a statement of fact. We live in a world that is in a constant state of change, and the concept of immovability can be complex to grasp because we don't have many reference points. 

 

2. God is Love.

Another cliche. His character is love- nothing you can do to diminish or increase His love for you. This lesson came to me while I was on holiday in Lagos, Nigeria.  I was emotionally in the middle of a situation I believed I had earned rebuke and judgment for. But God did none of that. He loved me out of the pit.

 

3. God is Willing

When a leper approached Jesus to heal him, he said, "If you are willing". Jesus said I AM Willing. I AM wasn't referring to that moment in time but to Jesus's character. Jesus is always willing to help, bless, deliver, and move you forward. 

 

In my next few episodes, I will be chatting with some of my besties, starting with none other than Suzy Bannerman! You will remember her from two years ago when we did lessons from 2021. Suzy is a sage, A wise woman. Then you will finally get to meet Titi. Titi carries an air of unbotheredness that is second to none. I cannot imagine being ruffled next to her. She radiates calmness, and with her insight and wisdom, you need a Titi. And there's Oga. Extraordinary, incredibly intelligent Oga. I hope I can convince her to come on the podcast.

 

Next year is all about cultivating relationships so that you will meet more of my friends, including Toyin Okunuga. We have recorded an episode in the past, but technical issues have prevented it from airing. We will try again until we get there!

 

The collective wisdom of the women in our lives is a treasure. Cherish them.

 

For questions or support on any of my mindset courses, please email pa@toksaruoture.com

 

Let's Connect:
Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out together on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.

 

 

Ep #86 Coming Full Circle: Transformational Lessons

I hope you had a glorious summer and autumn. Is that how much time has passed? LOL!

 

My much-needed break from writing and recording has ended, and I am happy to be back!

In this episode, I bring you up to speed with what's been happening. My recent trip to Lagos left me feeling incredibly inspired. Nigeria always does that to me. When you consider the challenges the masses face with the high cost of living, yet they continue to dream and forge ahead, you will come away feeling like you need some of what they have. I compared the general mindsets I observed. In Nigeria, everyone constantly aims for better, while we don't ask for much in the UK. Just comfort. Nothing was wrong with that, but it started a train of thoughts that culminated in addressing mediocrity in my life, which I discussed in this episode. I hope it inspires you.

In other news, I delivered my first TED talk! That deserves a whole podcast by itself. The talk will be published on TED's platform and YouTube any day now, so keep an eye out. I warn you, I will be asking, not forcing you to share it with your network; thank you in advance 😊 The Talk is titled: The Superpower of Authentic Storytelling. 

 

You can do hard things.

Find out how contracting food poisoning in Frankfurt ended up being one of the best things that could have happened to me.

All of the above has led me to resolve to live fully and stop hiding. Because I hide. I economise my presence in certain places and decide on my entrance into rooms based on the level of acceptance I predict.

But not anymore. Because something in my home country delivered me from the lie that told me I was standing on someone else's land. And I needed to be polite and permissive on their soil.

 

Knowing that I belong anywhere my life takes me is liberating. Owning the ground on which I stand is empowering.

 

'I did not come here to be accepted" sounds like the title of a book I will one day write, along with sequels like 'I Do Not Need Your Permission' and 'I Will Not Dim My Light to Make You Comfortable'.

 

I invite you to write yours too.

 

Please leave a five-star comment, subscribe, and share this episode with your network; I'd really appreciate it. Thank you!

 

I was recently interviewed on The Resilient Retail Podcast, where I shared about gathering wisps of resilience on our journey. 

 

Resources:

My Ted Talk: The Superpower of Authentic Storytelling

Episode 54: Recognising the Pieces of Your Dreams

 

 

Ep#85 When Time Manages You: Decision Making Fatigue

Today's episode is birthed out of my frustration for living in overwhelm and constant stress. There's a lie some of us have believed that the more complex and challenging a task is, the more important it is. Sometimes we deliberately complicate issues because we respect the complex and spectacular over the simple and easy to do. 

We pack so much into our day and have grown accustomed to living highly-stressed lives. We believe it comes with the territory of chasing big dreams.

 

Creating time buffers around your activities is a game-changer. 

1. It gives you room to breathe and think.
2. Increases your self-confidence in meetings
3. Allows you to recognise growth opportunities

The benefits are numerous, and I believe you won't want to return once you taste a life of ease. I encourage you to identify why you permit time to manage you instead of it being the other way around.

 

Action points:

• Build buffers around your appointments
• Don't pack your diary full. You are not in a race. You were created to live and not race.
• Understand that self-care and self-worth increase when you become a person of your word.

 

I will be taking a break from summer to refuel and recharge for the final stretch of 2023. This is a good time to re-listen to some of your favourite episodes. I will remain active on social media, where I'll continue reading my journal every week. Let's connect on Instagram @toksaruoture.

 

Resources:

Valorie Burton

Successful Women Think Differently Podcast

www.toksaruoture.com

 

 

Ep#84 Habits that Limit Business Growth: Hoarding

I hope you're having a great day and taking some time to relax and unwind. 😊

When it comes to growing our businesses, there are countless books, talks, videos, and articles out there that offer valuable insights and advice. They often highlight the habits and routines of successful individuals, suggesting that by emulating them, we can move closer to our own version of success. And hey, those tips can definitely be helpful!

However, if we truly want to bring about meaningful change in our lives, we need to go beyond just focusing on what we do. We must dig deeper and address the root causes behind our actions—the very things that are producing results we're not satisfied with.

In today's episode, I want to explore a specific habit that may be holding you back: hoarding. Now, I'm not referring to collecting physical items like a pack rat (although that's a topic for another time!). Instead, I'm talking about three forms of hoarding that can hinder our personal and therefore, business growth:

1. Hoarding knowledge: Sometimes, we cling tightly to what we know, afraid to let go and embrace new ideas. But if we genuinely want to evolve and become the best version of ourselves, we must be open to releasing old notions and welcoming the possibilities that come with the unknown.

2. Hoarding your present circumstances: It's natural to find comfort in the familiar, even if it no longer serves us. Stepping into the unknown can be daunting, but staying within the confines of what we know won't lead to growth. Sometimes, we need to take that leap of faith and see where it takes us.

3. Hoarding ideas: This one's for all the creative souls out there. It's common to fear that once we use up an idea, we'll be left with nothing. However, ideas are infinite and abundant. They flow through us when we're open and ready to receive them. So, don't be afraid to share your ideas with the world, because new ones will always find their way to you.

Now, why do we hoard? Fear is often at the root of this behaviour. Fear keeps us stuck, and stagnant, and prevents us from growing. If we genuinely want to break free from this pattern, we must confront our fears head-on and understand their origins.

To facilitate this journey of self-discovery, I encourage you to spend some time journaling. Reflect on these three questions in various aspects of your life—relationships, business, and beyond:

• Am I doing my best?
• What does my best look like?
• Why am I holding back?

By honestly answering these questions, you might uncover surprising insights and gain a deeper understanding of yourself.

As for me, it's time for a summer break! I'll be taking some well-deserved rest and relaxation. But don't worry, we still have one more episode coming up next week. And fear not, I'll be back in September when the new school year begins.

Before I wrap up, I want to express my sincere gratitude to each and every one of you for listening and sharing. Your support means the world to me. So, please, let me know your thoughts on today's episode and any other topics you'd like me to explore. I truly value your comments and reviews.

Enjoy your summer, and I'll catch up with you soon!

Warmest regards,

Toks

Ep #83 Trailblazing Women: Stories of Courage and Triumph with Amanda & Ginny

I recently had a fantastic time hosting a fun and casual conversation on my podcast with two amazing entrepreneurs, Amanda McKoy Flanagan and Ginny Oliva's-Smith. We got real and talked about the ups and downs of building businesses while being married with kids in beautiful Colorado.

We laughed and debunked the glamorous myth surrounding entrepreneurship. Instead of luxury, we highlighted the non-stop work, sleepless nights, and sheer dedication required for success. It's definitely not all glitz and glamour!

One of the highlights was our discussion on finding the balance between work and family life. As fellow moms and business owners, Amanda and Ginny shared their experiences and practical tips for juggling it all. It's no easy feat, but they reminded us that thriving in both realms is possible.

We also celebrated Amanda's latest achievement—the release of her book entitled "Trust Yourself to Be All In: Safe to Love and Let Go". Being all in with yourself means having your own back when the chips fall with unconditional love, and trusting yourself to show up for yourself no matter what pain is coming down the pike.

Hosting Amanda and Ginny was an absolute blast. We created a warm, welcoming environment where their wisdom and camaraderie shone through. Together, we shared a lighthearted and uplifting conversation showcasing entrepreneurship's realities while leaving listeners feeling motivated and encouraged.

So join us for heartfelt discussions on love, loss, and connections. Amanda and Ginny bring their unique perspectives, making it a delightful and engaging experience for all. Get ready to be inspired and have some fun along the way!

 

Resources:

Order "Trust Yourself to be All In: Safe to Love and Let Go" book here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C4M137BJ

Amanda McKoy Flanagan- https://www.instagram.com/amandamckoyflanagan/

Ginny Olivia's-Smith- https://www.instagram.com/ginnyos13/

Sol Rising Podcast- www.instagram.com/solrisingpodcast