Living Inside Out with Toks

Ep #100 Life Lessons with Suzy and Toks (Part 2)

Welcome to episode #100! Thank you for sticking with me through 100 episodes of this podcast journey.

This episode marks a special milestone—my continued conversation with Suzy, where we dive deep into the theme "Talk is Cheap, Actions Speak Louder than Words." Yes, it's a powerful message, and I'm thrilled to share it with you.

We often hear the saying, "Listen closely with your eyes." This episode is all about that—paying attention to the actions around us and the stories they tell. Suzy and I discuss how actions reveal true intentions and character far more than words ever could.

Reflecting on my past journals, I talk about the importance of not comparing one circumstance to another. Life gives us trials, but we are equipped to handle them. Comparing our past selves to our present can be a trap; instead, we should embrace our journey and growth.

Join us in this episode, part two of two, of Life Lessons with Suzy and Toks.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel and watch the recording to see our cheerful faces 😊.

Connect with Me: I would love to hear from you!

Connect with me on social media and stay updated with the latest news and events:

• Email: pa@toksaruoture.com

• Instagram: Toks Aruoture

• LinkedIn: Toks Aruoture

Ep #99 Life Lessons with Suzy & Toks

Welcome to episode #99! I thank you for riding with me through 99 episodes of my podcast.

This episode has been a long time coming—my conversation with Suzy on the life lessons we learned in 2023! Yes, I know, 19 months later, but we made it, and that’s what counts, right?

 

One cannot quantify the benefits of having the right people in your space. Besides having good friends who watch your back, make great company, and lend a listening ear, we should have wise people who plant words of life in and around us.

 

We also have a responsibility to ourselves to learn the lessons that life teaches us. Last year, I learned that life is not a straight line. Somehow, we were led to believe that the kinks and bends in our paths should be straightened. Consequently, many of us have spent months fixing what isn’t broken because the idea of an imperfect journey doesn’t sit well with us.

 

Since our last conversation, which was well received, Suzy’s divorce has been finalised, and she is living her best life. At the time of our previous recording, it was impossible to imagine the freedom she would experience. Yes, we knew it would happen, but when you are in the trenches, all you can see is mud and dead weight. Meanwhile, I have survived a long, challenging season of my own and share some of the lessons that came out of it and some tools to navigate rough terrains.

 

Join us in this episode, part one of two, of Life Lessons with Suzy and Toks.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel and watch the recording to see our cheerful faces 😊.

Connect with Me: I would love to hear from you! Connect with me on social media and stay updated with the latest news and events:
 • Email: pa@toksaruoture.com
 • Instagram: Toks Aruoture
 • LinkedIn: Toks Aruoture
 

Contact Information

 • Email: pa@toksaruoture.com

Ep #98 Overcoming Weariness: Staying Energised on Your Journey

This week on Living Inside Out, we dive deep into the roots of weariness and its impact on our lives and goals. Toks explores how chronic disappointments can spiral into discouragement, hopelessness, apathy, and even depression. Discover practical strategies to stay energised and focused on your God-given purpose, despite the enemy’s attempts to derail you.

Episode Highlights:

 • Understanding Weariness: Learn how repeated disappointments lead to discouragement, and how this can devolve into hopelessness and depression. Depression is described as a dark pit of hopelessness, a place where defeat feels inescapable.
 • Spiritual Perspective: Understand how the enemy uses weariness to prevent us from fulfilling our purpose. Explore how God’s purpose aligns with our deepest desires, and why staying energised is crucial to achieving our goals.
 • Personal Testimony: Hear a personal story of unwavering belief in a future vision, despite facing logical reasons to give up. Discover the power of holding onto your dreams even in the face of weariness.
 • Common Causes of Overwhelm: Identify key factors contributing to weariness, such as overwork, stress, lack of sleep, poor nutrition, and emotional burdens.
 • Three Dimensions of Existence: Delve into the interconnectedness of our physical, emotional, and spiritual dimensions. Get a sneak peek into how spiritual battles influence our weariness and the hope in God’s promise of overcoming the world.
 • Recognising Signs of Weariness: Learn about the physical and emotional signs of weariness, from chronic fatigue and headaches to irritability and lack of motivation. Understand how our modern habits, like consuming short content on social media, contribute to emotional and mental fatigue.

Practical Tips to Stay Energised:

 1. Physical Health: Prioritise sleep, balanced nutrition, and regular exercise to maintain energy levels.
 2. Mental and Emotional Well-being: Practice mindfulness, take regular breaks, and nurture positive relationships.
 3. Spiritual Practices: Engage in regular prayer and meditation for peace and rejuvenation, and connect with a faith community for support.

Ep#97 Challenges to Opportunities: Steps to Help You Change Your Perspective

Welcome to The Living Inside Out podcast. I’m your host, Toks Aruoture. This is episode 97: “Challenges to Opportunities: Steps to Help You Change Your Perspective.”

Hello, my friend. I hope you are well. If you’re in the UK and have a 16-year-old, congratulations! The exams are over. I, too, have a 16-year-old, and now that exams are done, I told him he’d need to get a job. Initially, I thought providing everything was a sign of love, but I’ve realised the importance of work ethic and early skill acquisition.

If this is your first time listening, thank you. Please rate and review this podcast and share it with your network. If you’ve been with me for a while, welcome back and thank you for your consistency. A couple of announcements: I have spaces for my PR workshop on 27th June. Also, for our 100th episode, I want to record in front of a live audience. Email pa@toksaruoture.com if you’re interested.

Recapping last week, we discussed how our perspective on circumstances affects our growth. Today, we’ll delve into the benefits of seeing circumstances as neutral. This perspective enables us to see opportunities even in difficult times.

Recently, I faced a tough week, but through it, I learned to trust in God’s invisible realm beyond our physical world. This trust helps us navigate challenges with the understanding that God is working for our good.

To change our perspective during tough times:

 1. Embrace dual realities. There can be good amidst challenges.
 2. Rest when tired, don’t quit. Busyness can drown out divine guidance.
 3. Acceptance. Identify the lies in your thoughts and counter them with God’s truth.

If you need support, email pa@toksaruoture.com. As a certified coach, I help individuals overcome limiting thoughts. Connect with me on social media @toksaruoture.

Before we go, let’s pray. Dear Jesus, I pray for the listener. Help them navigate this season, fulfil their potential, and take the next step. Amen.

Thank you for listening. God bless you.

Show Notes:

 • Spaces available for PR workshop on 27th June.
 • Interested in attending the 100th episode live recording? Email pa@toksaruoture.com.
 • Follow me on social media: @toksaruoture.
 • For coaching support, email pa@toksaruoture.com.
 • Visit my website for mindset courses and workshops: toksaruoture.com.

Ep #96 The Power of Perspective: Seeing Neutrality in Every Challenge

Episode Summary

In this episode, we explore the concept that circumstances in themselves are neutral, and it is our thoughts about them that shape our emotional responses. As always, I draw from personal stories, reflections, and examples, to see how our perceptions and attitudes can transform our experiences of pain, so we are not crippled by it, but instead we advance in spite of it.

 

Episode Highlights

 • Introduction to the Concept:
 • Statement from the previous episode: Circumstances are neither good nor bad.
 • The idea that it is our thoughts about circumstances that determine our emotions.
 • The Influence of Our Perception:
 • Factors influencing perception: personality, culture, mood, mental state.
 • Personal story of discovering and embracing this concept.
 • Personal Story About Pets:
 • Childhood experiences with pets in Benin.
 • Decision to get pets for children despite potential for pain.
 • Realisation that the doorway for pain is the same doorway for joy.
 • Embracing Pain and Disappointment:
 • Reflection on Earl Nightingale’s advice to embrace pain and disappointment.
 • Choosing to embrace rather than fight against life’s challenges.
 • Perspective on Tough Seasons:
 • Conversation with friend Shade about tough seasons and blessings.
 • Realisation that what we have today was once something we prayed for.
 • Comparing Pain:
 • Thoughts on the Gaza-Israel conflict as an example of different perspectives on the same circumstance.
 • Discussion on the futility of comparing one’s pain to others’.
 • Emphasis on pain being felt internally, not externally.
 • Seeking Joy in Difficult Times:
 • Reflection on the brain’s tendency to seek joy and avoid pain.
 • Personal story of seeking joy through prayer during challenging times.
 • The importance of finding joy and peace within, regardless of external circumstances.

 

Key Takeaways

 1. Circumstances are Neutral: It’s our thoughts about them that create our emotional responses.
 2. Embrace Challenges: Choosing to embrace pain and disappointment can give us more control over our lives.
 3. Avoid Comparison: Pain and joy are internal experiences, and comparing our circumstances to others’ can be misleading and unhelpful.

 

Announcements

 • PR Workshop: Join us for an upcoming PR workshop where you’ll learn the essentials of public relations, effective communication strategies, and how to elevate your brand. Stay tuned for dates and registration details.
 • Coaching and Workshops: Explore our range of coaching services and workshops designed to help you achieve personal and professional growth. Whether you are looking to improve your mindset, enhance your entrepreneurial skills, or navigate life’s challenges, we have something for you.

Connect with Me: I would love to hear from you! Connect with me on social media and stay updated with the latest news and events:
 • Email: pa@toksaruoture.com
 • Instagram: Toks Aruoture
 • LinkedIn: Toks Aruoture
 

Contact Information

 • Email: pa@toksaruoture.com

 

Listener Challenge

Reflect on a time when you prayed desperately for something you now have. How do you feel about it now? Consider how your thoughts and attitudes have influenced your emotions towards it.

Subscribe & Review

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review on your favourite podcast platform. Your feedback helps us reach more listeners and continue to provide valuable content.

Next Episode Teaser

Stay tuned for the next episode where we will continue exploring the neutrality of circumstances and how to harness our thoughts to navigate life’s challenges.

This podcast is brought to you by Living Inside Out; a platform where we explore the intersection of mindset, entrepreneurship, and faith. For more insights and inspiration, visit our website and stay connected with our community.

Ep #95 Healthy Solutions to Confront Life’s Challenges

We’re just five episodes away from our 100th episode, and we’re planning to celebrate big! I have some exciting ideas, including recording in front of a live audience. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this, so please let me know what you think.

Embracing Challenges

This week, I had the wonderful opportunity to speak to graduate students in Brazil, and it has left me on a high. It got me thinking about the challenges we all face in life.

After months of waiting for a challenging season to end, I’ve finally embraced it as a part of life. Have you ever found yourself waiting, like being in a valley, hoping someone will hoist you up to the mountain? Life in the valley is something we all experience. It’s a stop on our journey but not where we’re meant to stay. If you’re in a valley, surrounded by mountains and obstacles, know that this too shall pass.

The Power of Perspective

Recently, I had a revelation about our thoughts, emotions, and circumstances. It’s not the circumstance that causes us to feel discouraged, sad, or angry—it’s our thoughts. Circumstances are neutral; they don’t carry any power. It’s our interpretation of them that shapes our emotions. This explains why two people in the same situation can react so differently.

A Personal Anecdote

I’ll share a recent personal experience to illustrate this. I changed my phone provider, moving from a high business tariff to a much lower one. The switch-over process wasn’t smooth, and the new company only offered live chat support. You can imagine the frustration! During my first interaction, I was getting annoyed. I even felt like cursing out the agent, but I managed to keep my anger in check 🙈 

Although the problem wasn’t resolved by the third conversation, my reaction was different. I felt irritation rising but managed to push it down. Here’s why:

1. I had a chat with myself after the first interaction.
2. this conversation was at home, at the start of the day, when I was at peace and not stressed.
3. It was a different day—Friday, to be exact!

Shifting Your Mindset

Recognising that circumstances don’t directly dictate our emotions allows us to work on our internal responses. Here are three mindset shifts to adopt during challenging seasons:

1. Accept that everyone goes through challenges.
   When I lost my business in the 2008 recession, it helped to know that it wasn’t just me—many were affected. Understanding that challenges are normal in life can help us feel less burdened and more focused on moving forward. Resist the temptation to compare your life to others. Accepting that challenges are universal and neutral stops you from searching for the cause of your pain and allows you to nurture your soul.

2. Resist the urge to medicate the pain.
   It’s natural to want to avoid pain, but sometimes, the path to our destination involves facing difficulties head-on. There’s treasure to be found in dark places, but only if we resist the urge to numb ourselves with distractions like alcohol, shopping, or binge-watching TV.

3. Don’t search for someone or something to blame.
   Blame is a common response to crises, but it doesn’t help us move forward. Instead of pointing fingers, take responsibility for your life. This doesn’t mean blaming yourself—it means owning your journey. By doing so, you remain in control and can more effectively navigate challenges.

Final Thoughts

Challenges often involve deception, which blinds us to the goodness around us and amplifies our struggles. Remember, deception is simply a lie posing as truth. The best way to counter it is by internalising and speaking the truth—God is good, and His plans for you are to prosper you and give you hope and a future.

 

Announcements

I'll be hosting a PR workshop on the 27th of June to teach and share with you the nitty-gritty of building your personal/business brand. These are the strategies I used to grow from $75 in the corner of my room to the destination for luxury baby furniture in London.

Here's what you can expect to take away from the workshop:  Learn MY tips and strategies that got me featured in top publications such as The Telegraph, The Times, The Metro, etc.

1. Discover how to build a strong online presence that attracts clients and opportunities and makes you feel confident and visible!
2. Master the art of storytelling to make your brand stand out, and get access to exclusive insights you won't find elsewhere
3. Learn how to craft pitches that land you on top media platforms and make your voice heard! 

Join me on Zoom on 27th of June,2024 and take the first step towards elevating your brand with PR mastery.

Register now on the website or send an email to PA@TOKSARUOTURE.COM.

 

Spaces are limited, so sign up soon. For personal insights and reflections, check out my “Dear Diary” segment on social media and YouTube.

 

Action Point

Be especially mindful this week and watch your emotional response to uncomfortable situations; then ask yourself, what thought created this feeling, or what did I just think? This will help to self-regulate emotions as opposed to being at their mercy.

Ep #94 How to Live Authentically in an Artificial World

Hey you! Would you agree that we are in a pivotal moment in the world? It feels as though the rebate of change and evolution is at the highest speed. Social media, pandemic, wars, economic crises, artificial intelligence? Imagine someone who has been in a coma foe the past six years, waking up today? They’d freak out 😅

 

This episode explores how we can live authentically in a rapidly changing, and increasingly artificial world. You were created to fulfil a purpose, but you won't be able to do so unless you practice living authentically.

Because the layers that embellish us to make us more acceptable also hide our gifts and our true selves.

Recently, I’ve been reflecting on how I lead my team and the role of emotions in business. It’s been a challenging yet enlightening period, showing me that emotions can steer our decisions unpredictably.

One theme that has been recurring is facing the fear of judgement. This is something I’ve struggled with and I am getting past, and it’s a common challenge many of us face. We have got to push past self-doubt and societal expectations to live authentically.

Full Circle Moment

If we are connected on social media, you'll notice that I’ve been featured in Nigerian press for my work on mindset transformation, and will be guest lecturing at a Brazilian university, a nod to my Brazilian roots. But I also happen to be dealing with some other challenges which has led me to believe trials and success are two sides of the same coin.

Life is about accepting dual realities. We often fear judgement from others, but pushing past this fear is crucial for authentic living. It’s about embracing both the good and the bad and understanding that both can exist simultaneously.

 

Limiting beliefs, formed from past hurts, can hinder our true potential. Like pearls formed from irritants, these beliefs create protective layers that we must address to live authentically.

 

Practical Tips for Authentic Living

1. Daily Practices: Journaling, mindfulness, and setting boundaries help stay connected to yourself.
2. Mindful Consumption: Curate your environment to minimise negative influences.
3. Setting Personal Goals: Align your goals with your true self, not external expectations.

Final Thoughts

Reflect on your journey towards authenticity and take proactive steps to live genuinely. If you need guidance, I offer coaching services to help uncover and overcome limiting beliefs. Contact me at pa@toksaruoture.com or visit toksaruoture.com.

 

Announcements

The next PR Workshop is on 27th June. Spaces are limited, so sign up soon. Also, check out my “Dear Diary” segment on social media and YouTube for personal insights and reflections.

 

Next steps

Reflect on your authenticity journey and take steps to embrace it fully. Reach out if you need support—I’m here to help you uncover your amazing self. Thanks for tuning in! Until next time, keep living authentically and embrace the journey.

 

Do reach out with any questions or thoughts on this episode via email or social media. Looking forward to hearing from you!

 

 

Ep 93: Finding Freedom: Tips for Overcoming Overwhelm

Are you an overwhelmed entrepreneur struggling to find balance? In episode 93, we dive into practical strategies for overcoming overwhelm and reclaiming control of your business and life.

Overwhelm is a common challenge for busy entrepreneurs, but it's not insurmountable. Join us as we explore actionable solutions to help you navigate overwhelm and achieve greater freedom in your entrepreneurial journey.

In this episode, we discuss:

1. Recognising the Normalisation of Overwhelm: Discover why overwhelm has become normalised in entrepreneurship and how it can negatively impact your business and well-being. Learn the importance of setting boundaries, prioritising self-care, and combating burnout.

2. Addressing Unrealistic Time Management: Explore the pitfalls of unrealistic time management and how it contributes to overwhelm. Learn practical time management techniques, including the Pomodoro Technique, to boost productivity and efficiency while reducing stress.

3. Confronting Mental Distractions and Lack of Focus: Uncover the impact of mental distractions and information overload on entrepreneurial overwhelm. Discover strategies for enhancing focus, practising mindfulness, and minimizing social media distractions to regain clarity and control.

Resources and Links:

EXCITING NEWS! I'll be hosting a PR workshop titled 'Transform Your Stories into Headlines.' this coming 18th of May at 7pm via Zoom. Learn storytelling, media relations, and guerrilla tactics for personal and business brand success.

Want to learn more? Check out all the details and secure your spot at this link.

• Pomodoro Technique
• Tomi Rotimi on Instagram
• Tomi Rotimi on amazon
• Episode 6: Joy or Pain - Emotional Decision Making

Don't let overwhelm prevent you from achieving your entrepreneurial dreams. With practical strategies and a proactive mindset, you can overcome overwhelm, reclaim time, and find greater freedom in your business and life. Subscribe to the Living Inside Out podcast for valuable insights and support on your entrepreneurial journey.

Ep #92 Overcoming Impostor Syndrome

Today we're diving into the topic of overcoming impostor syndrome.

In this episode, we explore the insidious ways impostor syndrome can manifest in our lives:

1. **Seeking External Validation:** Relying on others' approval to feel worthy, even when we've achieved success.

2. **Crippling Self-Doubt:** Allowing impostor syndrome to undermine our confidence and hinder our ability to make decisions.

3. **Fear of Success:** Subconsciously sabotaging our own progress due to a deep-seated belief that we're not deserving of our achievements.

Drawing from personal experiences and insights, I share practical strategies to combat impostor syndrome:

1. **Celebrating Wins:** Taking time to acknowledge and celebrate even the smallest victories empowers us to recognise our worth.

2. **Preparation and Practice:**

Thoroughly preparing for tasks or projects helps alleviate anxiety and boosts confidence.

3. **Self-Affirmation:** Embracing self-praise, free from the constraints of cultural stigma, reinforces our sense of self-worth and diminishes the grip of impostor syndrome.

Join me as we navigate the complexities of impostor syndrome and embark on a journey towards self-acceptance and empowerment.

**Past Episode References:**
- Episode 12: Toxic Friendships: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iATOLZd9KEk&list=PLMsxgKktXsjbYxCMgQINuPV6WE6nB8soR&index=80

- Episode 9: Lies We Believe: Exposing the Mindsets that Limit Growth: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VhPxdD7QkQ&list=PLMsxgKktXsjbYxCMgQINuPV6WE6nB8soR&index=83

Thank you for tuning in! Don't forget to subscribe and rate this episode, and I look forward to connecting with you on social media at toksaruoture. Until next time!

 

EXCITING NEWS! I'll be hosting a PR workshop titled 'Transform Your Stories into Headlines.' this coming 18th of May at 7pm via Zoom. Learn storytelling, media relations, and guerrilla tactics for personal and business brand success.

Want to learn more? Check out all the details and secure your spot at this link.

Ep #91 The Christian Entrepreneur

This week we are continuing our 'entrepreneur' series and exploring what it looks like to be a Christian entrepreneur. I considered naming this episode The Spiritual Entrepreneur, but I realised that "spiritual" can mean many things to different people. So, it helps to be clear on this.

Personal Story: Finding Guidance

My earliest recollection of leaning on God for guidance as a Christian businesswoman was when I prayed for a mentor. God took my cry for help seriously and sent me Betsy Stevenson, a wonderful mentor who guided me through the fog. Her warmth and friendship is why I am committed to mentoring women entrepreneurs.

 

God's Intervention in Business Decisions

I’ve experienced God’s intervention numerous times in my business journey, from deciding whether to sell my store to navigating the complexities of building a website. Each time, His guidance was clear and led to remarkable outcomes.

 

Learning from Challenges

Through prayer and obedience, I’ve learned valuable lessons in business. Obedience in one area often releases favour in another, leading to unexpected opportunities and growth.

 

Inviting God into your Business

How can you include God in the running of your business? Believe in His desire to see you succeed, pray from a place of victory, and know that obedience often leads to favour and blessings.

 

Announcements

If you missed my interview with Channels TV, it will re-air this Saturday at 7:30pm on the programme Africans in Diaspora. Also, I have a PR workshop coming up in May. Send me a message to learn more.

 

Workshops & Courses

I am excited to announce our upcoming PR on a Shoestring Workshop.

One thing I can say after being in business for almost 20 years is that PR is essential. My business would not be where it is without PR. Having started with $75, I had no budget to pay an agency or pay for advertising. Yet, I ended up in national and international publications like Vogue, Hello!, Architectural Digest, The Telegraph., Times, Channel 4, ITV, BBC, and so many more. In this workshop, I will teach you all I know to get yourself into the media without having to pay thousands. Email pa@toksaruoture.com to register your interest, and we will add you to the list once we finalise the details.

 

Your Rock Star Story

Your story is waiting to be written. If you don't write it, someone will do so for you; it will soon become your narrative. Some of us are already living someone else's version of our story. End that today and purchase the Introduction to Your Rock Star Story course. This is a 2-hour video that allows you to work through the process at your own pace. My story took me from hiding to the TEDx stage. What I was once ashamed of became my calling card. And you can do the same for yourself today.

If you have not subscribed to and rated the Living Inside Out podcast, please do so on your favourite podcast app. It helps me grow my listenership and reach more people with relevant content. Thank you!

Gratitude

Thank you for tuning in and listening to this podcast. If it has blessed you in any way, please share it with your friends and give us a five-star rating. I wish you a fantastic day ahead. God bless you.

 

Resources:

1. Betsy Stevenson, founder of Clear Creek Group
2. Toks Aruoture's TED Talk: 
3. Channels TV interview: Diaspora Network
4. Website